Wow.
After driving through southern Minnesota, all of Iowa, and most of Missouri, I’m laying now in my family room typing on my sister’s new-ish iBook.
Leaving Carleton this morning, not to mention this entire past week, has challenged my emotional fortitude more than anything I’ve had to deal with in a long time. With ten hours in the car, I stewed today in my own emotions, and I tried to untangle and find a grip to manage my feelings. I was entirely unsuccessful. Instead, I am still relying on my organization of the transisition from Minnesota to St. Louis to Europe that I have developed in the past months. This means this organization is useful, but how true it is, I’m not sure.
When I walked out of 807 College, emotionally I felt like I was leaving not just the Carleton bubble, but a Carleton womb. The past 70 weeks that I have spent in Northfield–with barely an interruption–have been almost perfect. And with Seniors above me and the uncertainty of Freshman year behind me, the thought that the Carleton experience will ever end or that college is challenging in a non-academic way, hadn’t entered my mind in a meaningful way. Driving home, I felt less like someone in thick of college, and more like a senior ready to graduate. And that is a horrible feeling, or at least a horrible feeling to have a year too early.
Oh, Did I mention I miss Minnesota already? Or maybe more specifically the people and Northfield (minus the too few and crappy restaurants. Fuck Sweet Lou’s)
